At the time I was dating several other women simultaneously in Florida, Mississippi, Georgia, Tennessee, North Carolina, Texas and Alabama for the past 2 years. Jay and I had our first date on the 13th of September in 2020. Before you let your imagination run wild understand that there was no sexual contact in any of these interactions.
My goal was to make one last bold attempt at finding love before writing off the possibility of marital bliss for the rest of my life, move back to Florida and pick up where life as I knew it abruptly ended and having taken on the responsibility of being my mother’s full-time caregiver.
Of the ensemble of women I dated Jay instantaneously stood out like a ray of light, though she didn’t know she was the one at that time. There is a saying that a woman will choose you before you choose her. In my case that couldn’t have been further from the truth.
At no other time in my life had I been as deliberate and methodical as when I dated these women of varying backgrounds and dispositions. At no other point in my life did I have such a wealth of potential love interests to choose from. Perhaps at some point later I will discuss these other interactions in more depth but my focus at this point is to emphasize the importance of having a variety of choices to work with in order to find a suitable life partner.
The act of dating several people simultaneously affords one the opportunity to make better informed, more rational decisions about the person who is best suited to be your life partner. The problem so many people run into is when they allow the act of being sexually active to become a factor. Once sex is involved judgement becomes impaired and poor decisions are made. Furthermore, the act of making use of a dating pool devolves from trying to find a suitable life partner to simply jumping from one bed to the next; Rebounding from one failed relationship to the next. That self-destructive cycle is what all people should avoid.
The single most important benefit of having access to a variety of potential love interests is it helps to comprehensively compare and contrast, thereby weeding out people with incompatible traits and focusing more on the one who reflects the most common interests and compatible traits.
One by one, as my uncle loves to say, the women I was involved with eliminated themselves. As the pool of eligible mates dwindled the choice became abundantly clear. Jay’s impeccable character, honesty, maturity, empathy, and potential for intimacy was unmatched. At the end of the day the others didn’t even come close. And then there was one.
By July 27th of 2021 we were engaged. This by far wasn’t an abrupt decision. Falling in love was painstakingly yet thoughtfully slow, particularly in the beginning. Jay had every right to be cautious and see for herself that I was viable. After all, the hardest part, at least in my mind, was to convince her to trust me with her heart. With that being said, she went down kicking and screaming so to speak.
This being her first marriage and getting married later in life we couldn’t just let this momentous occasion unceremoniously come to pass without at least a little fanfare. We set out to decide on the perfect place to exchange vows. Miraculously, we both had the same desire to have a fairytale-themed wedding with her in a Renaissance styled vintage Medieval dress, and myself wearing a polished suit of armor complete with sword.
We spent most of our free time scouring the countryside via Google from California to New York State until we settled on Sterling Castle right here in Shelby, Alabama. Having access to the perfect venue right here in our backyard fulfills all of our needs. The perfect location to have a small yet memorable ceremony. Friends and family wouldn’t have far to travel, and we still have our choice of any corner of the United States to retreat to for a quaint honeymoon. Literally and figuratively out of all of the roads I traveled around the world in search of love–All of the highways and byways and roads I traveled lead me back to one love right here in my birthplace.
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